Tag Archives: video games

omg shuddup!

ohshuddup

when our friggin wii fit isn’t guilting me about disappearing for a little while (ok, fine, 131 days, but still) or telling me i’m fat, it tells me that i’m doing my yoga poses wrong b/c, you know, i’m stiff. oh and fat. inflexible and fat.

the male trainer (above, grumble grumble) recently subbed for the velvet-voiced female trainer (sigh). i was like, oh, my balance is bad? well you’re wearing spandex, buddy, and the view from over here? yeah, not so impressive. so why dont’cha just send back sexy pants and we’ll call it a day?

geez, i kind of miss mario brothers (version 1, late 80s). hell, i miss moon bounce or whatever the hell i used to play on my 4th grade atari. it may have beep-beeped a lot but at least it didn’t dis me (!).

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i think i have a crush on my Wii trainer

wii1

what? my balance is good? aww *blush* thanks!!! (ok actually? i have no idea what she's saying here b/c clearly it's not in english. it's just the best pic i could find.) (hi! see you tonight!!! can't wait!)

no, i definitely do.

i don’t know her name (and i don’t think she knows mine). and it’s not the way she looks (tho she is fit in a…mechanical kind of way). it’s that voice! omg it’s like…velvet. a hot soy latte on a blustery day. wooooh boy! baby baby.

i must clarify that this is my Wii Fit trainer. you know the nintendo game thingy where you run around your living room like a maniac swinging a remote, which is actually a tennis racket. or a bowling ball. or golf club or baseball bat. we got the system from holly’s parents for xmas along with this Wii Fit board. i was a bit wary of it at first (after all, the last time i played video games was the original super mario bros. like…back in the late 80s? yeah i saved up the $113 for it myself and played til my tiny thumbs hurt). but once i tried it (THANK YOU, CHRISTINA! are you reading?! love ya!) i was impressed.

so, in a nutshell, you can do all these aerobic/strength/balance/yoga exercises. and for the strength and balance sections, you choose a trainer: male or female. now, i know what you’re thinking! that homo, she probably chose the girl. oh but you are WRONG, my friends! i chose the guy. (i prefer male trainers, male hairdressers, male bosses, male colleagues; sorry, girls, but you know we can all be a pain in the ass and i can’t deal w/the friggin drama) i decided to switch it up earlier this week w/the female trainer and…yeah.

we were doing yoga together (siiiigh) last night, and i was like, hotDAMN i can’t deny it any longer! i cannot deny my feelings! oh Wii trainer, i love how you compliment my balance even when it’s way off. i love how you tell me i must have good posture (even tho i probably don’t). i love all your encouragement. most of all, i love that sexpot voice. rrrrrrrrrrrar! see you tonight!  don’t tell holly! 😉