i knew it was only a matter of time

before some dumbass pulled a knife on somebody over a parking spot. this is today’s new neighborhood development.

yup, some dude moved someone else’s chair and parked in his spot. we saw cop cars and asked what was going on. like i keep saying: respect the chair. [or the cone, milkcrate, dining room set, tv tray, coffee table (yes, saw one of those today) or, my new favorite, a laundry basket full of snow with a pink foam floaty noodle sticking out of it.] respect it or you might get cut. at least in baltimore. so beware.

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eff you, miss california

so the embattled miss california has obviously had enough of all us forward-thinking folks pickin’ on her and she’s decided to go to dc to launch a campaign against same-sex marriage. she of the “well, i think it’s great that americans are able to choose one or the other. we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage” is launching a campaign.

[which leaves me wondering: “opposite marriage”?? what is that? isn’t that, like, divorce? [i am quoting her directly, btw, from her answer at the miss usa pageant, which you can see here.]

i’m kind of irritated w/the today show (one of my fave shows; hi, meredith! hi, matt! hi, anne! love ya!), as they aired an “exclusive” interview w/her this a.m.  i already had a blaring headache and her squeaky little pageant voice just made it worse.

i’m like, look. you’re obviously not that bright. also? it’s also not very “christian” of you to launch a “campaign” against ppl who love each other and want to tie the knot. this is what kills me about “religious” ppl: you say you’re all religious and want to walk in the ways of G-d. the thing is, G-d doesn’t shun! or ostracize. or hate. (at least not the G-d i know. i’m jewish btw.) and neither did jesus. but whatevs.

anyway, i’m just like, shut the eff up. stick to vasiline-ing your teeth and waving and being thin and smiling and trying on gowns and stuff.

ppl like holly and i are obviously trying to undermine the american family. you know, like, our eight years together, where we’ve like…cooked together and gone to museums and drive in our cars and get haircuts and stuff. obviously.