oh fer cryin out loud: i really am old now

b/c i just called the local elementary/middle school “not as a parent but as a concerned member of the community.” damn kids are running wild in the neighborhood! not only walking in the middle of the street–i’m not talking a few at a time either, i’m talking 15-20 at a time; the sidewalks are clear btw, there’s  no reason to walk in the middle of the street–but taking handfuls of icy, sharp snow and scratching cars as they drive by.

this one kid did it to the car in front of us, then looked us straight in the eye and did it to us, too. they all pretty much sh*t a brick when all the sudden holly opens her door and gets out to yell at them, “hey! do you have money to fix the scratches on my car?? do you????” at which point they all started taunting us, shouting curses, dancing and giving us the finger, still in the middle of the street, of course.

look, i’m not stupid. these kids have been cooped up inside for over a week. and a lot of the kids around here depend on school to eat, so they’re probably grumpy and their home lives are probably crap. but: it is DANGEROUS for them to be walking down the middle of the street any time of the year, but esp. when two-way streets are now one-way and there’s ice and snow everywhere and most ppl around here don’t know how to drive in these conditions anyway! half the cars you see every day are slipping and sliding down these narrow sidestreets that a lot of the schools are on. they also shouldn’t be messing with moving vehicles, trying to damage them. these kids are badasses as it is. middle schoolers have actually beaten up full-grown adults in this city. but c’mon now. taunting drivers while they’re slipping and sliding on bad road conditions? plus taunting drivers in general! and destroying property. school administrators should know about that.

then we’re trying to pull in our spot and just as we’re starting to back up we see this woman–i don’t know if she was a mother or just a caretaker/daycare person–but she is beating this little girl that couldn’t have been more than four. i’m sorry but a kid that little does not need to be hit like that. what could she have possibly done?? the woman’s got about four or five kids with her, including an itty-bitty one in stroller. and this little girl is just wailing and now the others that saw her get hit are crying, too. we didn’t know if we should say something to this woman or not. i just kept thinking, if we say something she’ll probably get even more mad and beat the girl some more. yeah, and we’re wondering why kids are cursing us out and destroying property. i’m not saying it gives older kids a carte blanche to do whatever they want to, but it was certainly a cause-and-effect reminder of what some of these kids have gone thru and continue to go thru on a daily basis. it’s funny how you need a license to drive, but anyone biologically able can have a child.

anyway, i’m like, 80 now, calling school administrators. and i know they have enough to worry about. but still, they ought to know what their kids are up to in the neighborhood just outside the school building.

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in other news, i’ve officially turned into my grandmother

b/c i drank coffee with dinner tonight. with dinner, not after. with italian food, no less. manicotti! salad?! garlic bread?? only old jewish ladies that apply ruby red revlon lipstick right before they hit the local diner drink coffee with dinner! and now i’m one of them, omg.

i do have an excuse, i feel like. we are snowed in in western pee-ay. and it. is so. COLD here. like, stupid cold! we came back to holly’s hometown for the holiday and have not been able to leave for baltimore b/c  it has been snowing (and snowing) and the roads have been crap and i have been chilled to the bone for days. today i hit my breaking point and i was like: coffee please. here, set it right down beside the manicotti and penne and garden salad and keep it coming.

it’s so funny b/c it was only a couple years ago that it suddenly dawned on me–as i was passing a giant group of white-haired ladies in hats and lipstick (some w/walkers, others with canes…cuuuute!) all lunching at this fancy greenspring bakery in baltimore, i forget the name of it–that really and truly, the only ppl i’ve ever seen order coffee with say, sandwiches. and salads. are (besides my art professor mom who always orders black decaf with everything) women of a certain era, if you will. basically my late grandmother  (who went to “the beauty shop” every week and wore great hats and also lots of red/coral revlon lipstick; the old school kind in the green tube). these ladies at the bakery were going to give the dishwashers a real run for their money, too. tons of lipstick around the rim. adorable.

anyway, i drank it fast and piping hot just like grandma did. like it kind of burned my esophagus but it felt goooood after being so damn cold. holly was feeling a similar way across the table from me except it was with beer. which she has needed. like i needed the caffeine. and the near-burning heat. the holidays can do that to you. is all i’m saying.

ok, so there’s that. now to the elephant in the room: you’re probably wondering what in the hell happened to me over the past month b/c i essentially disappeared. i’ll tell you: i needed a break.

november–with the death smell and sadness/horror and the moving out and the laundering and everything else–just drained me. it drained me and left me pretty much a wet noodle. at least in my brain. everything we had to do around the house [we had to hire people to finish our moulding, caulk absolutely *everything*, every little hole, seal our exposed brick, steam clean all of our furniture and our carpets and wash every single fabric item in our entire house. (why all of this has to happen after two household layoffs is beyond me but i guess that’s murphy’s law for ya)]. it was all consuming. and every time i felt like i might sit down to blog, i was going to blog about “it.” and i just couldn’t do that anymore. i mean, how much do readers really want to read about that?? i think we all reached our saturation point. i know i did. plus i just haven’t been feeling funny. i mean, i always joke around but not funny enough to sit down and write. not that i have to be funny all the time b/c you know i just love to tug at the ol’ heart strings now and then. but my general joie de vivre, if you will, i think it’s coming back. finally. so here i am.

random thoughts for the day:

1. have  you ever  noticed that with the exception of really really fancy hotels, the “facial soap” they give you in hotels is essentially the shower/bath soap but just a smaller size?  you kind of expect it to be, like, especially for the skin on your face and it’s not!!! i am mentioning this b/c we stayed in a hotel last night (long story) and i was thinking about it this morning. hotel soap usually sucks anyway. it sucks doubly for your face. don’t call it facial soap, folks. false advertising. it’s micro-mini body soap and that’s all there is to it.

2. one of the many reasons i love holly is that she’s really low-maintenance in terms of “girl” stuff. (i, on the other hand, am high- maintenance; oh you didn’t guess?? ha) for example, this morning i saw that the hotel only gave us two bath towels. i have long hair that’s thick and i always use one towel for my hair (a towel turban; i excel at making these) and wrap one around the rest of me. holly is so great b/c she’ll always take the hand-me-down towel that i used for my hair. it’s always pretty damp but she doesn’t care and never complains. i know, right? it’s the little things. ladies, i know ya feel me.

3. i’m really excited about the new year. 2009 was sh*t. 2008 kind of sucked, too. but i think this year is gonna be our year. it’s a brand new decade! i’m launching my own writing business (website to come!!!). i’m about to start pitching literary agents. holly’s going to finish school this year. two of my oldest, closest friends are tying the knot. oh and to kick things off, my great uncle ben–one of my aforementioned late grandma’s baby brothers; the very last one of her brothers (she had four)–is taking us ON A CRUISE next month! to the bahamas! this is going to be OUR VERY FIRST OFFICIAL VACATION IN OUR ALMOST NINE YEARS TOGETHER. he’s paying for us to take the amtrak autotrain down, even! (holly’s not too keen on flying and i don’t blame her; plus this way we’ll have our car w/us all around miami cause you know we’re gonna be whoopin it up w/uncle ben and i am not kidding! he is kind of a party guy. oh and did i mention he’s 88?!!! 88! he still swims and cooks and is basically adorable and awesome and the male version of my grandma that i miss like crazy.) as my teeth chatter here in pee-ay, i just keep thinking: FLORIDA! BAHAMAS! i’m gonna be one of those b*tches who has a REAL TAN in the winter! ha!

so bring on 2010, baby! if you’re excited about anything–c’mon, you know you are–tell me. resolutions count, too. ttys! xo!