Tag Archives: animals

mice: 1, us: zero

oh fer cryin out LOUD can you just leave us ALONE?!!!

oh fer cryin out LOUD can you just leave us ALONE?!!!

i really didn’t want to talk too much about this issue but i can’t hold back any longer:

the mice have taken over. they’re holding us hostage in our house. they’re demanding cheese and peanut butter and assorted crumbs and they’re not leaving until they get them.

ok, i’m over-dramatizing things. (they recently freed our hands but we’re still tied to our chairs.)  but it’s bad. we don’t understand where they’re coming from. or how they’re getting in. but it’s like, as soon as you kill one (yes. we kill them. if you have a problem with this, you should probably stop reading now), there’s five more. they don’t care who’s around or visiting or if you’re eating lunch, just reading a book, minding your own business. they scamper right on out onto our bamboo floors as if to say, “eff you. we’re baltimore mice. and even tho we don’t help pay your mortgage, we’re gonna hang around as long as we damn well please so you’d better get used to it and go to hell while you’re at it.”

there’s also a cat (or something big that definitely sounds like it has paws) in the wall and/or ceiling. and it crawls around, esp. at night when holly’s at class, and scares the sh*t outta me. i cannot take any more of this. i. am losing. my mind. [and pul-leeze don’t tell us to get a cat. yeah, we kind of don’t (read: really really don’t) like cats. yes, we’re gay and female in a long-term relationship and we have no cats. neither one of us has ever had a single cat. see? stereotypes were made to be broken. i also don’t own a single pair of boat shoes or chinos. so there.]

the whole situation makes me wonder how i ever EVER had hamsters as pets. they’re RODENTS. mice are rodents, TOO. as are *rats* [oh pls, don’t get me started on baltimore (and DC while we’re at it) and rats] man, i had a patient mother. mice are disgusting and, as i said earlier this weekend, if i could, i’d destroy every single mouse on the planet.

mice, if you’re reading, you’d better watch out. we’re coming for you and it’s gonna get ugly. this is war.

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friday dogs!!!

i will now take a break from sharing the perpetual crisis that is my life to introduce a couple of my very very favorite ANIMALS!

i am a huuuuuge fan of dogs. i want a puppy sooooo badly, but, as holly constantly reminds me, “now isn’t the right time.” (at which point i sigh loudly and say i knoooooooooow.) in the meantime, i shower love on the wonderful dogs of others.

first, there is Thunder. he belongs to the fabulous danielle, and i swear he’s part human! this dog has a soul, i tell you. he should work in a hospital, that’s how sweet he is. he loves everyone (esp. me, i like to think! but he generally just loves ppl who love him). we saw him last night, while eating a ridiculously delicious vegan (!? i know, right?? sooooooo good) feast. he greeted me with lots of kisses and presented me w/his paw numerous times w/out me even asking! he also rested his adorable head on my lap, and generally made me feel awesome and loved. and there is nothing in the world like true-blue doggie love.

here he is:
(taken with my cellphone camera, which doesn’t have a flash.)

awwww *thunder*

awwww *thunder*

also there is Lex, dog of andrew. this dog (a long-haired mini dachshund) is so cute ICED (i can’t even deal). i was lucky enough to meet him as a puppy, and hearing his little paws taptaptap on andrew’s wooden floors was just…sigh. unbearably cute. and seeing proud daddy andrew hold him under one arm, omg. again, can’t deal.

andrew recently recorded a quick game of fetch w/lex and posted it on youtube for folks like me to watch ten times over. turn up your volume!

cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!

TGIF, everyone! woof!