well…more like three. but i’ll get to the third in a minute.
the first was deciding on a bedspread. i know this sounds completely lame and shallow but it is what it is, and we could not, for the life of us, mutually agree on a bedspread until like, six months ago. this is after years and years of living together. i wish i was kidding.
see, holly’s taste is…classy. i mean, mine is, too, but well, she’s more of a minimalist. we both like straight lines and clean edges in furniture and whatnot, but i’d like to pair all that with say…a madonna wall mural. or framed ramones posters. also pink flamingo lamps. so yeah. the bedspread thing. pretty tough when one wants, like, whispers of bamboo shoots and the other wants a new york city skyline.
the first time we butted heads on this issue was not too long after we got our first official place together in d.c. now, i’m fuzzy on the details, of course, but here’s how i remember it going down:
maybe a couple weeks before i left to go home for yom kippur, she pointed out a bedspread to me in a catalog. this was way before i learned about her…very strong, let’s say, desire for things to match. (she even matches her flip-flops to her outfits. i only wind up matching by default b/c i wear black every day. black with jeans. those always match. i’m like a walking bruise, basically. but anyway.)
“isn’t this pretty, honey?” she said, pointing to it. smiling, hopefully, oh so hopefully, that i’d love it.
“it” was a bedspread, one that we still have now (on our guestbed), kind of indian-looking made out of shiny satin or silk earth-toned (first problem right there: earth-toned) material with flowers (dingding! second problem is right there: flowers. tho i must say they were small and tasteful).
“yeah, it’s nice,” i said, probably not paying 100% attention (shocker, i know) and thinking we were just window shopping.
“i’d like to get something like that,” she said.
“uh-huh,” i said, most likely thinking about puppies or hot chicks or any of my many other interests.
so i get back from yom kippur, fresh off the train, fresh out of a cab, walk in the apartment and bam: there’s the bedspread from the catalog. on the bed. with matching shiny orange and brown pillows. a number of them. and a crapload of matching towels in the bathroom (orange and purple; hand towels and washcloths). i need to note here that the bedspread was–and is–nice. it just wasn’t…what i had in mind.
“aren’t you so happy?! i went shopping with alane and got all this! don’t you love it???!”
i think the look on my face said it all. let’s just say things did not go well after that.
it took about six years, but we finally got a bedspread (thank you, west elm!) we both really like a few months ago.
the other disagreement:
omg i know. salsa. but look, i like the sugary stuff: tostitos. or, better yet, paul newman’s “zero proof” tequila lime. holly likes the black bean stuff, which, while the flavor isn’t bad per se, has a weird slimy texture thing going on. or at least her favorite brand (again, paul newman’s).
our compromise only came about two weeks ago: Pace picante sauce. right there in front of us the whole time. go figure. not an earth-shattering discovery, mind you, but hey. when you’re in the mood for tacos, salsa can make or break the deal. i know you know.
the last longstanding disagreement: rollercoasters. holly’s for them. i am not.
i’m listing this disagreement last b/c honestly? i don’t think we’ll ever come to an agreement. we will have to agree to disagreement.
she talked me into going on one just once and…let’s just say it ended badly. (you’ll just have to wait on that story; trust me, it’s a doozy) let’s just say wild horses couldn’t drag me on one of those things. as in: if there’s a hell, it’s full of rollercoasters. (my personal hell, at least) and roaches. and daddy longlegs. and snakes. and pleated chinos.
but i’m jewish and we don’t believe in hell. so. disaster averted. (yet another reason being jewish is great. i mean, as if the lox and whitefish salad weren’t enough 😉 )
if any of you would like to share your best couple’s disagreements, please post them. yes, even if they’re even less Deep and Meaningful as bedspreads and salsa. i know. and you actually thought i had a soul.