in celebration of our three-year wedding anniversary (i.e “the BFGW“) this tuesday (nov.15th), holly and i are going to get married in THREE STATES IN ONE DAY: new york, connecticut and vermont!

(massachusetts is annoying and won’t let us get hitched there, too, since we’re already legally married in d.c. so whatever, we’ll bypass mass. and go get our maple syrup on in vermont.)

(did i just say go get our maple syrup on? omg i kind of love that and i’m not even that into maple syrup.)

of course holly came up with this idea. she of the “b—jerk” (which is pronounced “bah-jerk” not “bee-jerk,” in case you were wondering. and if you haven’t read that post yet, you really should right now).

i guess she thinks i’m not that much of a bitch jerk after all since she wants to marry me three more times, bringing us to a total of five. if she wants to divorce my ass, she’s gonna have to travel up and down the friggin northeast so good luck with that, babe! you’re really in it now!

(holly was laughing and then suddenly stopped laughing and looked scared.)

since we’ll be in north jersey for my 15-year high school graduation on saturday night–HOLLA JAMES CALDWELL HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 1996 WHADDUP!!!! (hello, i totally don’t feel that old! 15 years?!!)–which is just a couple days before our anniversary, she was like BABE, I HAVE THIS IDEA.

i was like greeeeat. (holly always has “ideas.”) at first i was like, could we really do this? and then, after some phone calls to different cities/counties in ny, conn. and vermont, i was like we COULD really do this!

so we’re doing it!

we’re doing it to celebrate our 10+ years of love, to take back our wedding day (unfortunately,  it was so filled with drama/discomfort, it wasn’t everything we wanted it to be) and since we can’t be married federally, we decided we’re gonna get married in every friggin state til we can. (fyi: since maryland recognizes our legal marriage in dc, we file our maryland taxes as “married” but have to file federal taxes as “single,” which is ridiculous). we also want to do it so one day, when we have kids and they’re older, we can show them all of our marriage certificates and they’ll see that we lived thru this historical time and fought hard for our love and to be recognized as equal–hopefully marriage inequality will be ancient history by then.

btw: if you’re new to lunch at 11:30 and would like a jessica & holly wedding primer (it gets confusing, as we’ve been married twice “without a divorce in between,” as i like to joke to people) i suggest visiting the BFGW (Big Fat Gay Wedding) page here.

yes, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably need a snack break. (i often need a snack break just writing posts. then again i’m ready for lunch at 10am so i think it’s fair to say i have a problem. that or a tape worm. which is also a problem. ok i think i’d rather just be hungry early.)

so here’s hoping we can can hitched three times in three states between the hours of 9am and 5pm. ready! set! WEDDING! xxo!


11 responses to “wedding blitz: THREE WEDDINGS IN ONE DAY!

  1. Jess, this is an amazing idea. It just proves how much you really love each other. The whole post just made me smile so wide. I know you can do it! Good luck and congratulations, congratulations and congratulations!

  2. Well I’m getting married tonight, 11/11/11! Now, of course, no matter how incredibly cool my bride, Anna and I are; she being the lyricist/singer of Thrushes and with me being the aging punk rocker/actor/recent candidate for Baltimore City Council that I am….we will never be able to achieve your utter amazingness. Why? Well in the words of Edith Massey portraying Aunt Ida in “Female Trouble”, “the world of a heterosexual is a sick and boring life!”

  3. happy wedding, scott!! (love the 11/11/11! man you will NEVER forget that anniversary! no excuses!) you guys are so punk i love it ❤

  4. and amy! thank you thank you thank you!!!! so glad this post made you smile…

  5. Wow … you are braver than me. One marriage/wedding was enough; can’t imagine doing it 5 times!!! But, it’s a great excuse to travel 🙂 Have fun!

  6. Congratulations! Congratulations! and Congratulations!
    Does this mean I have to send three wedding gifts? Because you girls are ON to something!

    (Also, last night we received notice that Matt & I are an official Domestic Partnership – which is ironic because we can get “legally” married except we don’t want to – mostly due to the fragile economy and that fact that half of us has crappy credit and the other half has to be able to get any necessary loans; anyway, we just want his damn ass covered by insurance. Win us!).

    Also — I’m just picturing your grandkids flipping through a scrapbook filled with page after page of marriage licenses and certificates and acknowledgements and I’m thinking if I was one of your grandkids I’d be SO FREAKING PROUD of my Grandmas!

  7. Man oh man oh man, the crazy ass filing of 5 IRS returns so annoying! We had to do that. 2 for Feds, 1 for CA but 2 CA mockups to file Fed. Crazyness. I LOVE that you’re going to have all those wedding certificates to show your kids. These really are historical times. Many many many more happy returns on your anniversary sugar!

  8. thanks for all the love, guys! PR: you got us both emotional w/that grandma comment! awwww ❤

  9. But … but … now I won’t get to meet you. Thanks for nothing, Massachusetts. Except for being the first state to legalize gay marriage. That was cool.

  10. Awesome idea! Have a great wedathon!

  11. sounds like a great idea to me too

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