this is what happens when i let holly choose all the movies we watch

christina: "do you think jessica's ever going to get to see 'burlesque'?" cher: "i doubt it."

when holly and i met and started dating a million years ago (ok, more like nine, but a million sounded funnier), we would wander around the adams-morgan (now defunct) blockbuster and she would absolutely shock me w/the movies she wanted to rent.

no, they weren’t porns (you guys are really something, you know that?). but they weren’t exactly the type of movies i expected my beloved then-girlfriend to propose watching. 

they boiled down to a few major categories:
(in fact, they still boil down to these few major categories.)

cop comedies
things being blown up but with some romance thrown in
car chases with some romance thrown in
high school boy humor
college guy humor
just plain dumb
and (thankfully) romantic comedies

romantic comedies are my number one favorite. well, that and cheesy rags-to-riches stories. (a la christina aguilera’s burlesque–but we’ll get to that in a minute.) thankfully we’ve always agreed on the romantic comedy genre or else we would’ve broken up ages ago. 

anyway, eventually i stopped saying “ew” each time she suggested something from one of these categories (save for romantic comedies), and agreed to rent some. after all, i loved her and “relationships are about compromise,” so, whatever. i shut my mouth for once and actually watched them.

and you know what? lo and behold, some of the movies she wanted to see actually turned out to be pretty good. highlights include but are not limited to: “the hot chick” (that one was a doozy; highly recommended), “american pie,” “superbad,” “deuce bigalow: male gigolo,” “eurotrip” (omg that one’s so funny) “the animal,” “get him to the greek,” and “american wedding” (also a doozy).

i should also make note that there have unfortunately been some lowlights. these include but are not limited to “paul blart: mall cop” (this would go under the “just plain dumb” category). i can’t remember any others at the moment b/c i think i purposely forgot them.

the point here is: it’s important to open your mind and let your partner rent some movies she wants to see even tho you have no interest in watching them b/c you think they’re dumb. you may also surprise yourself by liking some of them, making your partner swear she won’t tell anyone you liked them but then blogging about it all anyway.    

ok, the story: after holly finished her final semester’s classes last month (as in: she’s done forever now! she graduated college this past sunday! congratulations, honey!), we decided we’d celebrate by seeing “burlesque.” i would not shut up about seeing that damn movie. it seemed so inspiring. we saw a preview for it in the theatre months ago and i was pretty much obsessed with seeing it from that point forward. holly also thought it looked good–tho probably b/c she wanted to examine prolonged close-ups of cher to figure out what/how much work she’s had done. no wait that’s me.  

i digress. anyway, as it were, life happened and we didn’t get to see it when it came out. weeks went by, then we had an extended “groundhog day”-esque christmas trip to holly’s hometown in western pee-ay (as in: like the movie, every day we woke up thinking we would leave but didn’t–don’t see that movie if you haven’t btw). seeing how i was so good at my in-law’s house for 10 days (10 days), holly assured me that my prize would be seeing “burlesque.”

“don’t worry, babe,” she said, gently patting my hand over the car console as we drove thru her hometown. “we’ll see it when we get home.” 

so we get home after new year’s and guess what??? friggin “burlesque” is out of the friggin theatre. we had our heart set on going to the movies so i agreed to go see “little fockers” even tho i really didn’t want to b/c of the commercial that shows ben stiller’s character cutting off his finger or something when he’s carving a turkey and blood’s spurting out everywhere. i agreed to go but only b/c we were celebrating holly’s then-upcoming graduation and it’s what she wanted to see.

we went to see it and it wasn’t great. it’s one of those movies where everything goes wrong. i’m not fond of those. i mostly want to cover my eyes or just walk out. [for the record, i looked down when ben stiller cut his damn finger. of course i looked up and there was blood everywhere. (i never look down long enough! dammit.) but at least i didn’t see it flying around the room.)

then we spent the weekend watching more movies, this time at home. i told holly it was her graduation weekend and to pick out whatever movies she wanted. i wouldn’t complain. it was totally up to her. i patted myself on the back for being a good wife.

here’s what we saw:

“dinner for schmucks”
easy A
“knight and day” (tom cruise & cameron diaz action thriller/romance)
“the A-team”

“dinner for schmucks,” i couldn’t even make it the whole way thru. and, despite my love for the show as a kid, “the A-team,” yeah, i lasted about 10 minutes and  went upstairs. it was so loud and everything, and i mean everything, was exploding and i couldn’t understand the damn plot. “knight and day” also confused me but cameron diaz was funny/pretty enough to make me keep watching until i started to get it. many things exploded in that one, too, but at least there wasn’t much blood. “easy A” wasn’t bad, but i wouldn’t recommend it. holly, of course, liked it. she pretty much liked all of them.  

in conclusion, i still just want to see “burlesque.” i don’t care if it sucks, i still want to see it. i want to see it in the theatre, where it’s loud and i will walk out feeling inspired and wondering if cher is, in fact, the undead.

an additional conclusion of this story is to give in and watch your loved one’s damn movies once in a while. but if it’s “paul blart: mall cop,” do yourself a favor and just walk the hell away.

p.s. sorry i’ve been gone so long! i’ll be back again soon, promise. xo.

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6 responses to “this is what happens when i let holly choose all the movies we watch

  1. “Burlesque” wasn’t even “so bad it’s good”…it was just BAD!

  2. I want to see Easy A.

  3. aw shnap, really?? maybe that’s why it was in the theatres for, like, three weeks…

    michelle: if you see easy A, tell me what you think of it.

  4. What is with smart women enjoying Rob Schneider movies?! My supersmart fiancee LOVES his movies.

  5. i will make sure to add it to the netflix queue, as we are running out of stoner comedies to watch (that’s the only genre nate and i can agree on).

  6. scott: i just don’t know what it is. one day i realized i love nearly all of his goofy-ass movies. the guy just cracks me up.

    (michelle: you both like stoner comedies? omg ha. the things i learn from these comments…)

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