snookie must use Bumpits to get her hair that huge

NO YOU DID'INT! snookie from mtv's "jersey shore."

that’s what i’ve decided. if you don’t know who snookie is–that’s Snookie, capital S; she’s an actual person tho her nickname makes her sound like a…a cream-filled cookie or something–you must not watch “jersey shore,” the latest reality (i.e. “reality”) show from mtv. holly started watching repeats of it, then the new episodes, a few weeks ago and honestly, it’s like a train wreck. you can’t look away! if it’s on and you’re in earshot of the tv, you have to watch it. more on that in a bit.  

anyway, about that hair. it is. so. high. so high! i keep thinking that girl has *got* to be using Bumpits!  

have you heard of Bumpits? it’s this made-for-tv product to boost up your hair. (ok “boost” is an understatement. it makes your hair look like a small-to-medium sized rodent is nesting in it.) “hair volumizing inserts,” the website reads. “from flat to fabulous.”  

here are some photos for background:  

Bumpits: huge, happy hair. these are the inserts.

the result. i really have no words. (scratch "small-to-medium rodent nesting in hair." change to "raccoon and/or possum.")

anyway, i guess you see my point.  

so about the show. right, so i was all, “oh my gosh, HOLLY. how on EARTH can you watch that TRASH?!” and holly was like, “aw, c’mon babe! it’s awesome!” and then i got sucked into it merely by being near the tv while it was on and now i have to say it’s pretty damn fun. essentially, it’s about goin’ out, gettin tan, hookin up. also workin out. and doin’ hair.  

the cast was on the today show this morning, and they were like, yo, meredith, we’re just a buncha young people havin a good time and gettin tan and hookin up and doin our hair. as for negative stereotypes of italian-americans (ppl have been freaking out that the show perpetuates negative stereotypes about italian-americans), i have to say that if you think all italian-americans are like the kids on “jersey shore,” that’s pretty pathetic. i grew up with about 95 percent italian kids in north jersey (i love italians so much it’s like i’m half a person when they’re not around), and sure, some of them are “guidos” and “guidettes,” but speaking as someone jewish and gay (both minorities), yeah, a lot of jews are doctors and lawyers and sure, some gay women dress a little butch and some gay men may have feminine “affectations,” but not all us are and not all of us do. (plus i’ve met a fair share of guidos/guidettes that are far from italian.) so there’s my rant. get over it. it’s all in good fun.  

transitioning a little, the show has helped my relationship as it gives holly further insight into my cultural background.  

“babe, i’m really starting to understand you more,” she said after the show ended one night. i thought she was going to start a deep conversation. but no.  

 “those girls never shut up! they’re like ‘ba ba BA ba ba BA!’ [she made the universal one-hand-opening-and-closing-like-a-person-that-doesn’t-shut-up symbol as she said this. i kind of felt like slapping her hand down but i didn’t.] no wonder you never know when to stop. you’re a jersey girl!”  

 exactly. that’s what i’ve been trying to tell her all along! that’s my home state, ppl! CAN I GET A WHAT-WHAT! HOLLA!!!

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8 responses to “snookie must use Bumpits to get her hair that huge

  1. In case I haven’t mentioned it, you and Holly are more than welcome to come visit us at the shore this summer!

  2. sa-WEET! i think we’ll take you up on that!!!

  3. A few if my friends are obsessed with bump-its. I mean, it’s a joke. Except … is it???? (We actually sat around and looked at the website last week. I only wish I were kidding.)

  4. wait, what? for reals?? ha! (Bumpits are also a total trainwreck. can’t. look. away.)

  5. I have to admit that I’ve bought Bumpits…I wish I was kidding, but it’s the Jersey Girl in me…However, i assure you that Snookie doesn’t use then, b/c they are a big waste of money and did not poof my hair like I dreamed they would. She must have the inside track on how to properly poof.

  6. dinah. woah. you did? they didn’t? she does? ha.

  7. she looks like a dude… is that even a woman?

  8. hey they calll me snooki 2 lol hahaha

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