it’s taken me about eight and a half years, but i’ve started noticing that holly and i have some really funny conversations as we’re going to sleep. she usually gets into bed before me. ok scratch “usually.” her ass is always in bed before mine.
it used to be that i would stay up til all hours of the night typing away on my laptop, but she’s really not havin it anymore. i mean, she never really was havin it, but i think she’s tired of me making a racket (“racket” being, like, walking in and, say, breathing and then brushing my teeth; oh and heaven forbid i move the covers and she gets cold for a nanosecond! anyway, i digress) and waking her up (she is an incredibly light sleeper. it’s kind of crazy. i’ve got a post coming up about that).
now that she’s in school full-time and not getting up at the buttcrack’a’dawn to manage hugeass construction jobsites, she’s gotten a whole lot better at staying up later, even, dare i say “late.” and i’m not being quite as difficult about getting into bed at a decent hour, probably b/c i don’t have a full-time gig, so i have way more daylight hours to do my writing. what that means is that she’s still awake when i get into bed. so we can actually talk before we both fall asleep.
so last night i come to bed and she’s watching some annoying/scary-looking semi-medical show on TLC (yes, we watch tv in bed and save your lectures; we put on a timer and it helps us fall asleep–man i’m snarky today! anyway) and pretty soon it’s apparent it’s one of these “i didn’t know i was pregnant” shows, where, you know, a woman is eating dinner w/her family christmas eve and suddenly “doesn’t feel good” and goes to the hospital thinking a spinach dip or something made her sick and lo and behold, out comes a baby.
yeah, one of those.
we’re not big on the medical shows in our household, so i was surprised she was watching it at all. so right after, you know, the woman’s husband comes home to find his wife randomly holding a newborn baby and tons of blood in the bathroom, we have the following conversation before i get into bed:
me: “those ‘i didn’t know i was pregnant’ shows really freak me the hell out.”
“at least you don’t have to worry about that.”
me: “at least there’s that.”
score one for the gays. hey we may not have equal rights or anything, but at least there’s no unplanned pregnancies. so we can add that to the list of advantages.
last week we had another funny conversation. i think it was the middle of the night. we just saw our neighbors get the sh*t kicked out of them on the street, called the cops, etc. about 10 mins later, i started laughing, b/c you know, what else can you do sometimes, when things are just so sad and ridiculous? you gotta laugh (and plus, it’s not like anyone died) anyway, i get reminiscing about some of my old apartments. there was the place in takoma park with the permanent residents–little brown roaches that somehow, thankfully, stayed strictly in the kitchen (i left about a hundred dead ones for the landlord to see when i broke my lease and moved to dc and got an unlisted phone number so he couldn’t find me). then the efficiency in adams morgan with the bathroom that was larger than the kitchen. i actually had to buy this silver rolly stand from ikea so i had a place to put my microwave and toaster oven. and i kept it in the living room.
“we’ve lived in some places, huh, hunny?” i said with a sigh and a nostalgic chuckle as i rolled over to cuddle against her.
“no, you’ve lived in some places. i’ve just come to visit.”
we both started laughing so hard. it was so funny i had to write it down in the “notes” function of my ghetoass sprint iphone wannabe (the Instinct; never ever get it, btw, piece’a crap). i decided i’d start doing that with these bedtime conversions b/c i know i’ll forget them.
i was like, “thanks, babe. but it’s not like you didn’t visit my ass every other day so i don’t even wanna hear it.”
then we just laughed more.
oh that crazy pillowtalk. if each of us could only be a fly on the wall, even just for five minutes, and listen to everyone’s conversations. there’s funny sh*t happening everywhere all the time. even at 2am in southeast friggin baltimore.