sorry i disappeared, guys. i had four-day headache (cold/bad-weather induced, i think) but i’m back and i have a story.
holly and i decided we’d have a date night last, what was it? wednesday? yeah, wednesday night. this had everything to do with the fact that we recently found an old amc movie giftcard we had forgotten about (read: lost) from our wedding. we decided (read: i strongly suggested) on “whip it,” the cute drew barrymore-directed movie about a girl who’s mom wants her to be a beauty pageant queen, but instead she joins a rollerderby team. great movie. awesome soundtrack, too. i highly recommend it. (funny that i was the one that was really gung-ho about seeing it, and holly wound up loving it even more than i did.)
so we ate a nice dinner (i actually cooked it! i know, right?!) and went to the theatre, located in a popular–and big–faux-mainstreet shopping area off 95. this place is known for tough parking, and wednesday night was no different than usual in that regard. we pull into the lot closest to the theatre, and we’re trying to navigate our way to a spot and there’s a car–a hoopty-type thing–idling, just sitting there, in our way. i don’t know if it was the rain (the rain makes ppl dumb on the road, i’ve decided; perhaps this is just maryland, but my hunch is that it’s everywhere) or what, but it was like, dude, wtf are you doing? we could barely make it around him. if holly, who was driving, of course (duh! driving could srsly ruin my nails! ha, no totally kidding but i bet you believed me) wasn’t paying attn, we would have definitely hit him.
anyway, she was in one of her take-no-sh*t-on-the-road moods (trust me, you don’t want get on her bad side on those days so ppl, puh-LEESE put on your blinkers). honestly, i don’t remember the details (duh, looking at my nails. jk, ha), but she essentially swerved around him to avoid a father walking with kids. i think she yelled at him. but not, like, out the car window or anything. and plus the windows were closed.
so we pull into the spot and i think we’re in the clear until holly opens her door real fast and gets out and i hear yelling. i’m thinking, ohno. oh nonononoNO HOLLY, NO! do NOT engage this moron! he could have a GUN! it’s baltimore, fer cryin out loud! every single day feels here like russian roulette. he’s yelling about her driving, she’s yelling about his, and i’m sitting in the passenger seat just holding my breath that the idiot doesn’t, you know, shoot us.
my hands have turned to ice and i’m thinking, great, date night is kind of ruined and it hasn’t even started. she comes back, leans in the car, sighs really loudly, takes out the key from the ignition and then slams the door shut. i get out and we start walking towards the theatre. i break the silence.
“is he gone?
“yeah, he’s gone.”
“how do you know? he could be following us.”
“he’s not following us.”
silence. rain drops.
“what a friggin idiot,” holly says.
we walk into the theatre with only a few minutes to spare and walk up to the touchscreen ticket machines. i start tapping on the screen to get our tickets.
“you know he called me a dyke,” holly says.
“yeah. before he got back into his car he yelled ‘dyke.'”
i suddenly felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.
“you’re f*cking kidding me,” i said.
i stared at her feeling bad. i felt bad and angry and disgusted.
“you know, it didn’t hurt my feelings.”
i stood there, fuming in front of the blaring red ticket screens. i suddenly felt all bruised up inside. i know i shouldn’t have b/c he was just an ignorant idiot, but i did anyway.
“c’mon,” she said, touching my arm. “let’s go see the movie.”
we saw the movie and forgot about everything. we still held hands even tho i suddenly felt scared to–even in the dark. when some ignorant jerk yells dyke at you, somehow everything feels unsafe even tho you know it’s probably ok. everyone suddenly seems suspect.
we very rarely encounter anything like that. but it’s scary, you know. what’s just bubbling under the surface of so many ppl. walking back to the car in the dark, rainy lot got us thinking about what went down just a couple hours earlier.
“it’s like, so i’m gay. big f*cking deal. call me a ‘dyke,’ i don’t care,” holly said with a laugh.
“tell us something we don’t know,” i chimed in.
we laughed at that jerk’s ignorance. b/c that’s what you do. you gotta laugh it off. b/c ppl are f*cking stupid.
it’s crazy how some ppl still think calling someone gay is a dis. if someone thinks you’re a bad driver, they get out of their car, puff up their chests and call you a name that means you’re attracted to ppl of the same sex. woah, big dis, dude. gay and proud, buddy. gay as a day in may and f*cking proud of it. we’re here. we’re queer. get used to it.
plus you’re probably even gayer than we are!