holly and i have only had two longstanding disagreements

well…more like three. but i’ll get to the third in a minute.

the first was deciding on a bedspread. i know this sounds completely lame and shallow but it is what it is, and we could not, for the life of us, mutually agree on a bedspread until like, six months ago. this is after years and years of living together. i wish i was kidding.

see, holly’s taste is…classy. i mean, mine is, too, but well, she’s more of a minimalist. we both like straight lines and clean edges in furniture and whatnot, but i’d like to pair all that with say…a madonna wall mural. or framed ramones posters. also pink flamingo lamps. so yeah. the bedspread thing. pretty tough when one wants, like, whispers of bamboo shoots and the other wants a new york city skyline.

the first time we butted heads on this issue was not too long after we got our first official place together in d.c. now, i’m fuzzy on the details, of course, but here’s how i remember it going down:

maybe a couple weeks before i left to go home for yom kippur, she pointed out a bedspread to me in a catalog. this was way before i learned about her…very strong, let’s say, desire for things to match. (she even matches her flip-flops to her outfits. i only wind up matching by default b/c i wear black every day. black with jeans. those always match. i’m like a walking bruise, basically. but anyway.)

“isn’t this pretty, honey?” she said, pointing to it. smiling, hopefully, oh so hopefully, that i’d love it.

“it” was a bedspread, one that we still have now (on our guestbed), kind of indian-looking made out of shiny satin or silk earth-toned (first problem right there: earth-toned) material with flowers (dingding! second problem is right there: flowers. tho i must say they were small and tasteful).

“yeah, it’s nice,” i said, probably not paying 100% attention (shocker, i know) and thinking we were just window shopping.

“i’d like to get something like that,” she said.

“uh-huh,” i said, most likely thinking about puppies or hot chicks or any of my many other interests.

so i get back from yom kippur, fresh off the train, fresh out of a cab, walk in the apartment and bam: there’s the bedspread from the catalog. on the bed. with matching shiny orange and brown pillows. a number of them. and a crapload of matching towels in the bathroom (orange and purple; hand towels and washcloths). i need to note here that the bedspread was–and is–nice. it just wasn’t…what i had in mind.

“aren’t you so happy?! i went shopping with alane and got all this! don’t you love it???!”

i think the look on my face said it all. let’s just say things did not go well after that.

it took about six years, but we finally got a bedspread (thank you, west elm!) we both really like a few months ago.

the other disagreement:


omg i know. salsa. but look, i like the sugary stuff: tostitos. or, better yet, paul newman’s “zero proof” tequila lime. holly likes the black bean stuff, which, while the flavor isn’t bad per se, has a weird slimy texture thing going on. or at least her favorite brand (again, paul newman’s).  

our compromise only came about two weeks ago:  Pace picante sauce. right there in front of us the whole time. go figure. not an earth-shattering discovery, mind you, but hey. when you’re in the mood for tacos, salsa can make or break the deal. i know you know.

the last longstanding disagreement: rollercoasters. holly’s for them. i am not.

i’m listing this disagreement last b/c honestly? i don’t think we’ll ever come to an agreement. we will have to agree to disagreement.

she talked me into going on one just once and…let’s just say it ended badly. (you’ll just have to wait on that story; trust me, it’s a doozy) let’s just say wild horses couldn’t drag me on one of those things. as in: if there’s a hell, it’s full of rollercoasters. (my personal hell, at least) and roaches. and daddy longlegs. and snakes. and pleated chinos.

 but i’m jewish and we don’t believe in hell. so. disaster averted. (yet another reason being jewish is great. i mean, as if the lox and whitefish salad weren’t enough 😉 )

if any of you would like to share your best couple’s disagreements, please post them. yes, even if they’re even less Deep and Meaningful as bedspreads and salsa. i know. and you actually thought i had a soul.


8 responses to “holly and i have only had two longstanding disagreements

  1. Ok, so you all need to come to Jerzy and we can go to Great Adventure and Holly and I can go on all the big roller coasters! Royi doesn’t like roller coasters either and I don’t get it!

  2. Ira and I don’t agree on salsa either. He hates chunks of tomatoes and I like salsa that was made like 30 seconds ago, like with tomatoes that were still tomatoes earlier that day. He likes it all blendy and juicy. Barf. But another good commercial salsa that seems to be a good balance for us is the Goya pico de gallo. Not that we can get it in Cairo. So for now I’ll keep making it the way I like it and he’ll keep picking around the tomato chunks. Tell Holly I have some great black bean dip recipes if she wants them!

  3. For the record I don’t recall ever saying it was “pretty”! If pretty comes out of my mouth it is probably regarding my niece not a comforter or home good.
    The interesting thing is that Jess and I always come so close to having the same taste in design but there is always that one little thing that throws both of us off into another search for the perfect thing because we can’t agree on the whisper of bamboo vs. the NY skyline!
    Luckily I have a great wife who usually lets me do what I want when it comes to the house because she knows my overwhelming need to have just the right comforter, etc when she could care less….most of the time.

  4. shosh, you’re a rollercoaster girl?! i would have never guessed that. (tho holly says she can totally see it) does royi like those games where the things pop up and then you smack them down? what about skeeball?? what about fries/cheese fries/soda and/or lemonade? if so, it’s totally a date!

    jenna: holly and i definitely agree on fresh salsa!! (*yum*) and yes, she’d like your recipes. great, now i’m hungry for lunch and it’s (omg) 9:30…

    and honey! but you call *me* pretty all the time!! 😉

  5. jessie, aka hsw

    we disagree on OJ… he likes smooth, no pulp, and I would prefer to chew my OJ. Oh, the Pace with Cilantro salsa is the best stuff ever! We also tend to argue about where to eat… not really about the food so much. Typically, we are both hungry and cranky and neither of us care so much what we eat, as long as we have something to eat immediately. The problem is, I can’t really make decisions on where to eat when I’m just generically hungry. He gets mad at me. All I need is a multiple choice. I can tell you what I don’t want, but not so much what I do want. Gosh, we jewish girls are so high maintenance!

    As for roller coasters, Andy just had to learn to ride them by himself. I would always wait in the line with him, but then hop out to the other side and wait for him. It’s more about him being lonely in the line than the 45 second ride. These jewish boys are very needy!

    Oh, and btw, I like the comforter in the guest room 🙂

  6. omg, j. we ARE high maintenance!!! wtf. i wonder if this is some genetic predisposition that has helped the jewish ppl survive? or maybe we’re just a pain in the ass. and hungry. (hey, something’s gotten plump our jewish birthing hips!)

    i also love the pulpy juice! holly’s all like, “ewww, pulp.” (more clues that holly and andy are one and the same.)

    “i’m so happy!” holly just told me over the phone. “andy and i can ride rides together!”

    let’s drink pulpy juice together in the uk while andy and holly ride scary rides together. deal?

    p.s. glad you like the guestroom bedspread. haha.

  7. Lester and I disagree about when to throw things away in the refrigerator. I grew up in a house with seven people in it. We ate all the food that came in the house until it was gone. No throwing things away because of a silly thing such as a “sell-by” date!! That’s merely a suggestion!
    He, on the other hand, grew up working alongside his mother in a city corner store where you lived and died by the sell-by date or else the health department shut you down.
    The result? I eagerly anticipate having leftover Chinese from three nights ago for dinner and when I get home, where’ s my Chinese? In the alley! In a trash bag! Along with my Whole Foods Salsa Fresca (which he dislikes intensely, but somehow manages to eat anchovies in a jar…ewwww). It kills me!! He throws everything away, all the time! It’s compulsive. And I’m always like, “It’s relish!! It doesn’t go bad!!!” Or, “Do you know how much that costs?? That was good for at LEAST another three days!!”
    Sigh….good thing he’s so cute, or I’d have to put him out in the alley with the (still-good!) chicken and broccoli, add shrimp. LOL!

  8. anchovies!!! like, straight-out-the-jar??! good thing he’s cute indeed! 😉

    p.s. totally know the feeling of wanting leftovers from the fridge soooo badly and when you get home…they’re gone. like the rug has been ripped right out from under your feet. sigh.

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