do yourself a favor and don’t clean your sunglasses with windex

ok? b/c when you put them on afterwards [and surely, if you’re anything at all like me, you will do it too soon, say, before it even dries…right before you drive to work (via three different highways)] your eyes will start stinging and maybe even get blurry.

you might be asking yourself at this very moment: why did she clean her sunglasses off w/windex anyway?? i’ll tell you:

b/c i dropped them into the garbage basket at my therapist’s office last night. and those of you that go to a therapist are already gulping hard b/c you know you know what they’re full of!

tissues!

ew!

before we even got started talking about any of my many many neuroses, i must’ve bumped them off the cushy couch arm they were balanced on and…yeah. she and i looked at each other like UH-OH SWINE FLU. i was like, “yeah…i’ll just…let ’em sit there and get them when we’re done.”

when i fished them out of the trash–and to be honest, there wasn’t much stuff in there, but of course what was in there consisted of…mm-hmm, you guessed it: tissues.

she was like, “wash them off??”

i felt stupid for even bringing them in to begin with. i mean, why in the hell do i even need bigass dark sunglasses (w/rhinestones no less) for my 50-ft walk into the office?? i mean, i know i have sensitive eyes, but c’mon!

aside from all that (“all that,” of course, being gag-inducing therapist’s-office dumpter diving) i’ve never cleaned sunglasses off before w/windex. it was very “my big fat greek wedding” of me to do that. it was holly’s quick thinking this morning, and, despite my haste and watery eyes, i really must say it worked fabulously.

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2 responses to “do yourself a favor and don’t clean your sunglasses with windex

  1. jessie schlosberg

    hahahahahaha!!! I literally laughed out loud when I just read this to Andy… hilarious!

  2. ha! as a therapist (a hsw–hottie social worker–if you will) i’m sure you are all too familiar with all the balled up tissues your clients leave behind. pls keep a tight hold on your sunglasses (!)…

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