omg shuddup!


when our friggin wii fit isn’t guilting me about disappearing for a little while (ok, fine, 131 days, but still) or telling me i’m fat, it tells me that i’m doing my yoga poses wrong b/c, you know, i’m stiff. oh and fat. inflexible and fat.

the male trainer (above, grumble grumble) recently subbed for the velvet-voiced female trainer (sigh). i was like, oh, my balance is bad? well you’re wearing spandex, buddy, and the view from over here? yeah, not so impressive. so why dont’cha just send back sexy pants and we’ll call it a day?

geez, i kind of miss mario brothers (version 1, late 80s). hell, i miss moon bounce or whatever the hell i used to play on my 4th grade atari. it may have beep-beeped a lot but at least it didn’t dis me (!).


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