1. never drive to work in the morning behind an entemannn’s truck if you can help it. especially if you have a travel cup of coffee from home in the car with you. i don’t think this needs any further explanation.
2. if that travel mug of coffee smells just a wee bit like palmolive, and maybe the coffee tastes a little soapy, and you still drink it, that means you really like coffee. (oops–‘cuse me. i just burped up a bubble.)
3. i think i’ve given up hope on bret michaels (former lead singer of 80s hairband poison, boob-crazy protagonist of rock of love/rock of love bus, just in case you don’t watch trash teevee like we do) . not that i had that much hope for him/in him to begin with. a couple observations: the girls on this show, their boobs are so big and so high up, they might as well be at a renaissance festival (and if you’ve been to one, goodness gracious i’m sure you know what i’m talking about). meaning: if they’re ever on a boat, and it capsizes? they will float w/out any effort at all until they are rescued. anyway, it seems his love and enthusiasm for these girls is directly proportionate to the blondness of their hair, thickness of their eye makeup and yes, the size of their boobs. it just makes me laugh. he’s very earnest, in a way, tho. hard to put my finger on what it is. which only makes things funnier.
4. and my favorite line of the entire series? big john: “i TOLD you not to act slutty and whore-y!” did he yell this at the drunk, big-boobed blond who was crying on speed bump? or when two of the drunk, big-boobed blonds were wrestling and making out? ha. either way, he was quite earnest when he said this, too. which, again, made it even funnier. i bet you can find this on youtube somewhere. if you do and you feel sad, watch it and it will cheer you up. see that? don’t ever tell me i’m not helpful.