“wait,” she whispered. “you’re a…a…”

a what?? i’m a what, lady, a what? just say it! c’moooooon, say it! say it, lady, say it. i know you can do it!

so you may recall i recounted the enthusiasm shared by some female tellers at my local bank (a supermarket branch) a couple weeks ago regarding my then-upcoming wedding. i didn’t tell you at the time, but the ladies didn’t have a clue who i was marrying. i mean, they probably thought it was a man, but whatever, you know? they were excited. ok, so fast fwd to yesterday.

i go to the same bank to make a deposit, and the same lady’s behind the glass–one of the two who freaked out and got excited about the wedding. it took her a minute to put everything together and figure out it was me who got married, that the wedding happened, etc. we gushed for a minute–and i don’t know if it was b/c she felt like she knew me already or a cultural difference (she had a thick accent, not sure where she was from)–but then all the sudden, she was like, “who’s holly?” b/c holly and i share our account. naturally! we are married. (wink. i do love saying that.) i thought it was awfully bold of her to ask, seeing how bank stuff is supposed to be private, but i didn’t have the energy to say so. i was in one of those moods where i like to shock ppl by saying i’m gay or whatever you wanna call it. (this always seem to shock ppl as i’ve been told i don’t “look” gay, i.e. am “feminine,” and as un-PC as it sounds, i do see where they’re coming from. (remember ppl, i can talk smack about gays and jews b/c i’m both) but it does make things more fun for me, as the shock value is higher. anyway) so i hold up my left hand in front of the glass, point to my ring finger (two rings! yeehaw!) and say, “that’s who i married! holly! holly’s my partner. we’re married.”

and i swear, it was the funniest thing. i wish you coulda been a fly on the wall (ok, if it was all of you, it woulda been a swarm’a flies but anyway!) b/c it was so funny. she stopped, her mouth opened, jaw hit the floor you might say and was like, in a whisper,

“wait, you’re…” and there’s this awkward silence. and i wanted so badly to fill in the blank for her b/c she was struggling so. i would have but i had a headache and i felt like i was in a movie and kinda wanted to just watch and see what would happen.

“you’re…”

we’re looking at each other thru the glass. and i’m like, nodding my head, slowly, down–oh! like the hotel manager does w/richard gere in pretty woman when he’s like, about julia roberts, “and miss vivian’s your…. [nodding down at richard gere, waiting for him to agree w/him] niece.” i know you know that part! anyway, she’s stammering.:

“you’re…”

“YOU’RE…”

and she really whispers this part,

“a…”

“lesbian?!”

“you’re” (gulp–such a whisper now) “gay?”

and i was like YUP!! YES I AM! (didn’t feel like going into the whole “lesbian” rant. i’ll explain my feelings on that some other day. tho i “tag” my entries these days “lesbian” i don’t identify as one, i just don’t care for the word itself, and tag them as such in order to tap into a gay audience) and i’m kind of wincing b/c i don’t know what to expect but instead she starts gushing!

“oh that’s AWESOME! my husband and i are big supporters of gay people and gay marriage” and on and on how it’s not fair that we don’t have the same marriage rights and now that obama’s in office things will hopefully get better and she wishes us the best and on and on and it was truly great. i must say. see that? YA NEVER KNOW! i’m really glad i didn’t say anything about her asking who holly was. i mean, i can’t blame her for being curious. after all, my hair is rilly long these days. and my shoes keep getting pointier. and all that *lipstick* i wear! it’s awfully confusing 😉

happy thanksgiving, everyone! i, for one, am thankful for a whole helluva lot. including coffee, which is keeping me going right about now. ttys!

Advertisement