and how do i even *begin* to tell you, my loyal blog readers, about our wedding?? how?? this is the question i’ve been mulling over the past week as we took our “staycation” honeymoon. [which srsly? the BWE (best. week. ever.] i don’t even know where to start.
i’ll start out by saying that man! it feels so good to have it all behind us. i mean, i’m kind of sad that it is (i was warned of this feeling) but my relief–our relief–is outweighing this in a big way. also? it’s so wonderful to be married! i feel like such a cheese saying this! but, really, it does. nothing’s changed (we *have* been together the better part of eight years) but…something’s changed. if that makes sense. just to know that neither one of us is going anywhere. not that we were before but you know what i mean. it just feels so good. and also? wearing two shiny rings? LOVING IT! anyone who knows me knows i love shiny. [shiny lipstick, shiny dress. (which omG you’ll see pictures of soon!)] no more planning. no more what ifs. it’s over. done with. we can move on and stop stressing.
i’m also happy to report that neither one of us threw up (could have) or fainted (ditto) under the chuppah like i feared one (or both) of us might. our ceremony was better than i could have possibly imagined, and touched our guests far beyond my wildest dreams. my dress fit like a dream. i didn’t cry my eye makeup off. the food was friggin awesome. the cake was, omG, to die for. everyone danced [one of the top moments of the entire day: slow dancing to michael buble’s “home” (my song to holly) with *the most* amazing array of couples dancing alongside us) and basically partied like, well, let’s just say like they drank about $1,500 wortha booze! (hell’s yeah, guys! way to GO!) and now that the dust has settled, i’m also happy to report that we’ve both finally gotten some sleep (i was runnin on E saturday the 15th, our wedding day, w/only about two hrs of sleep the night before and only about four the night before that) and i can finally think in a straight line. (well not that straight. haHA! sorry, lil gay humor there. lil bit.)
ok, now the “heavy stuff.” i’ve been kind of stressing (me? stress? shocker, right??!) about something else. how to say this…
well, i started this blog partially to chronicle our wedding. and now it’s happened. and…i want so badly to tell you all that it was perfect. that everything was absolutely perfect. but i’ve made it my business to be honest on this blog–and honest to myself. and the cold, hard reality of life on planet earth is that (drumroll please!) nothing’s perfect. (but you knew that already) and that includes weddings, too.
i’d really like to tell you that it was a fairytale. but, while it was wonderful, it wasn’t a fairytale. some crappy stuff happened, and i…i just don’t want to disappoint you. and now i’m grappling w/how i much i should say and what exactly i should tell you. one huge, blaring issue i’m facing in this regard is privacy. not my privacy but my family’s. my kneejerk reaction is just to go on a big jersey girl rant about everything and just…let it all hang out. but i can’t and i won’t. so i’m trying to figure out a way to explain things w/out giving too many specifics.
honestly, it’s a lot. the whole thing was a lot. a lot to process. a lot of emotions, many of which i’m still processing. but the last entry i posted, the night before the wedding…about falling, falling into my friends’ arms. i will say that it was my friends, our friends (and our cousins! man we have great cousins), that gave us the support that we needed. and they surrounded us with such love, such unyielding support that we…we shined. we glowed. we rose above everything else and were…brave. we were brave. we’ve agreed we were brave to have this wedding. a lot of same-sex couples don’t have weddings b/c of what they’ll face, mostly from their families. we didn’t just have this wedding for ourselves. we had it as a public statement of our love and commitment to each other. i hope we’ve inspired others to do the same.
(p.s. i’ve decided that the best way to tell you about the wedding–including the jewish ceremony–is step by step thru photos. so sit tight as jaime gets things together. in the meantime, you can check out this preview. lots more to come. ttys 😉 xox jessica)