when my appetite goes

then you know i’m really nervous. b/c honestly? as if the name of this blog didn’t already give it away, i’m constantly hungry. like, most of the time, it feels like. and right now? yeah, not so hungry!

i must give the disclaimer that i’m mostly excited. i mean, i’m nervous, too. not about getting married, per se, more just like…being the center of things. b/c i’m not a fan of that. sure, i like cracking jokes (always have). but that only makes ppl notice me for a few moments. and with words–with this blog or my name on an article–no one actually sees me.

ok, here’s something really dorky that i’ll tell you even tho my better judgement is screaming at me not to: my mom had to stop throwing me birthday parties when i was little b/c i would always start crying at them. she says it’s b/c i probably felt overwhelmed. and that’s true, i bet. but my gut tells me, the itsybitsy tiny bit of memory i have of those times, says that i just couldn’t deal with being in the middle of it all.

it’s funny how we develop into adults…that these little bits and pieces of our youth–or our earliest childhood, even–stick around with us. i’m older and wiser now, but i still cringe thinking about all these eyes on me (gulp: the day after tomorrow!). hopefully i won’t break out into, like, hives or something. srsly! don’t laugh! (ok, you can laugh. it is kinda funny) but hey, at least i won’t be in a pointy birthday hat. plus i’ll have a whole team of professionals huddling around me to make sure i look fabulous (no, not just “fabulous.” faaaaaaaaabulous!). and? AND? my make-up artist’s brushes?? totally touched the face of mr. president-elect obama! i know, right?? and if that isn’t good luck, well i don’t know what is…

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3 responses to “when my appetite goes

  1. OK, if it makes you feel any better, for several consecutive years I crawled under the table when friends and fam broke out into the Happy B-day song. Seriously, mortified. Shhhh don’t tell anyone! 🙂 xoxoxo Can’t wait!

  2. I like to be seen, but not for too long, lol…Maybe all of about 3 seconds…

  3. Yup, I can totally relate. I use to cry at my birthday parties when I was little too. But, hey, we turned out okay, didn’t we?

    Congratulations, a million times congratulations on your wedding! I hope we get to see pictures.

    XO,
    Katie

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