c’mon girls! you believe in love? ’cause i got somethin to say about it, and it goes somethin like this

so again, the headline? probably not so related to whatever it is i’m going to write about. came up with it in a fit of treadmilling over the long weekend. let’s just say my feathers were ruffled, so i slapped on some running shoes, sped that baby up and cranked up the “immaculate collection” (arguably the very best collection of vintage madonna songs ever released) to such a silly-loud decibel that my brain was probably shouting TURN THAT SHIZ DOWN! and while the video for “express yourself” (the lyrics above are from the very beginning of the song) is more than a little confusing [esp. that part where she’s crawling around like a cat, licking milk out of a bowl on the floor? and let’s not forget the legendary crotch grab (loved it then, loves it still)], it’s such an awesome song. but anyway, enough with madge, let’s get right down to business…

holly’s big, brown, beeeeautiful eyes got lasik’ed late friday afternoon. and while i’ll miss “my little four eyes” (awwwwwwww–i’m big on pet names, so pls take no offense if you’ve had or have glasses), i am positively over the moon that she was eligible for the procedure and opted to go for it. half the long weekend, she was too cool for school and wore special sunglasses inside and out. when we were walking outside or driving, she delighted me by proudly reading off license plate numbers. the only sad thing are these “baby bruises” (the doctor called them that) on the whites of her eyes, which will eventually go away, but make me sad to look at.

on second thought, maybe this entry does have a little something to do with love. b/c you can say you love someone til you’re blue in the face, but until you’re up with that person in the middle of the night (or ok, 5am on a saturday–but it might as well be the middle of the night) administring eye drops, holding her hand from the car to the curb and then up the stairs and thru the house b/c she can’t open her eyes…when the person you love is at their weakest and you’re tenderly caring for him or her, listening to her breath, wiping her brow, sleeping with her on the bathroom floor–i don’t think there’s a more pure way to show your love. i may give holly a hard time about picking up wads of tissues when she’s sick, but at my core, i love it. i just love her so much and helping her when she’s down, i just feel lucky to be able to do it.

as if the lasik didn’t get me emotional enough [i pretty much had my face pressed against the glass–they let you watch it going on (OH and there’s also a large flatscreen that shows each EYE while it’s getting lasered. um, yeah, i tried to turn away from that)–while she was in the laser operating room; i was so teary, someone had to come out and check on me], we met with our rabbi (meeting #2) sunday afternoon to start working out the details of our ceremony. i was already PDE (pretty darn emotional), as i’m still processing the fact that a member of my immediate family has opted to not come to the wedding (not something to go into on this blog; let’s just say i’ve shed a lot of tears over it and i’ve moved on), throw wedding vows and blessings (there’s seven big blessings in a jewish marriage ceremony) into the mix and you know i lost it. well, i didn’t lose it completely. but let’s just say that the lump i referred to in a previous posting came back bigger and stronger and hasn’t gone away since. i was biting my lower lip the entire time we were in the rabbi’s office. just thinking about our ceremony puts both of us in tears. (nicolina, bring tissues. bring lots of tissues. and here’s hoping my make-up artist has superstrong waterproof mascara) holly and i have agreed that we don’t know how we’re going to make it thru the ceremony at all. i think i may cry the whole way thru. hell, even looking into holly’s eyes after only a day and a half of not seeing them (b/c of said joe cool dark lasik sunglasses), pretty much put me in a fit. looking into them under the chuppah? i honestly don’t know how i’m gonna do it…


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