i am back. and boy, have i missed all you ppl. trust me, i’d rather be blogging than struck down w/multi-day migraines. but that’s what happened to me since my last posting. in between and after all the headaches [i blame them on stress and barometric pressure changes (yes, my head is a human barometer and, although gorgeous, the weather’s been all over the place lately)], we had a lot of visitors: holly’s very down-to-earth aunt, her adorable cousin and one fabulous nicolina, otherwise known as my san fran writer bff and maid of honor.
i’ve been scratching my head about how to write this entry b/c i really have so much to say. i feel like i’ve had a lump in my throat since she walked in (and then out, yesterday morning) our rowhouse door. we so rarely get to hang out at all, let alone for days (we picked her up sunday night and i took off from work monday and tuesday) in a row. days! i still can’t wrap my head around it.
i guess i could sum up our visit like this: walking, talking, eating, walking more, talking more and eating even more. also roof deck-sitting, dinner party-ing and hanging out w/perhaps the most faaaaabulous (and beautiful and sweet) men on the planet. i impressed myself with a running commentary on the landmarks and history of baltimore–who knew i even knew all that stuff! as i spoke, i realized, gee, it sounds like i actually kind of like it here! and then i was like, naaaaaaaaaaah. (but yeah, despite my efforts to the contrary, baltimore’s growing on me. kind of a like a wart. (or a mushroom, tho that wouldn’t be growing onme per se). it’s kind of ugly but you can’t stop it. so instead you embrace it. or go to the dermatologist. but anyway, i digress) and from the looks of her blog, it sounds like nicolina’s kind of crushing on it, too.
i’m glad i was wearing my sunglasses when we were out walking, and later, on the water taxi, b/c i felt myself spontaneously tearing up a few times–i think b/c i was just so happy to have my friend by my side again. my mother’s always told me that good friends are hard to come by. she said it quite a few times when i was in high school, usually while i was sobbing over this or that friend doing me wrong (i’m sure you remember those days. back then, everything felt like the end of the world). she’d smooth my hair back from my tears and hand me tissues, telling me that if you can count the number of good friends you have on even one hand throughout your entire lifetime, you’re lucky. now, on the edge of 30 and planning one of the most important events in my life, i see how absolutely blessed i am in this regard. b/c, while i may not actually see my close friends as much as i’d like to [and despite the fact that we may instant msg/email (and omG txt msg lol wtf) more than we actually talk these days], i know they’re there for me. they’re the sort of friends that i know–wherever i am, whatever i do, no matter how much time goes by–are with me for the long haul. most of them have moved away (and in a couple of cases, i’ve actually moved away from them), but i feel their love radiating across the miles–down the B/W parkway, down I-95, curling down the amtrak rails and yes, flying cross-country, across farms, rivers and mountains, touching down in baltimore to give me hugs and confidence and look into my eyes and tell me everything’s going to be ok… (ok, hello, crying again)
i could have scheduled my very first dress fitting to coincide w/nicole’s visit, but decided to leave our days completely open. instead, i went yesterday on my own, a little wary of what a dress fitting actually entails. i’m still processing the entire thing, so I’ll say the following: um, 1. don’t get a dress made unless you don’t mind standing around in your undies. i (silently) take issue with this, but am pretending i don’t care. 2. it’s good if the ladies pinning you are speaking, say, russian, to each other. this way, you don’t know if they’re talking about you. 3. although i’ve lost quite a bit of weight, i need to lose more. i know, this is the bridal mantra. it’s just a little intimidating when it’s actually you instead of a friend or some crazy bridezilla on tv.
between a long-awaited MOH (maid of honor)/bff visit, and yesterday’s dress fitting, i’m still waiting for that lump in my throat to disappear. this wedding stuff is emotional! i swear, practically everything’s got me tearing up. it’s like i’m in this perpetual old-jewish-lady-hand-waving-in-face-oh-my-gawd-i’m-tearing-up-dahlink-please-hand-me-a-tissue state. but it’s good, i think, that i’m feeling all of this. and i know that with friends like nicole by my side, everything, as she continually assures me, will be just fine.