yes it was evan’s (see above) lucky day yesterday, as rochester ny’s most fabulous new resident was baptized (much to our local delight!) in baltimore’s own greektown. he’s got quite’a set’a lungs, that kid, as he let out some serious howls after he was dipped in holy water a few times. (umm, if you were cold and naked and wet (and most likely hungry) in front of a crowd in a church, you’d probably be crying, too.) then he peed on his godmother, poor kid. ha. it was adorable, tho. we love him.
what i am esp. loving these days is my friends having kids. we have plenty of friends with children, but it’s only recently that some of my very oldest friends are having babies. what i am loving even more is that my very oldest guy friends (greg and simon/simos, that’s you;) are having babies before my girlfriends. and what i am loving even more, if that’s possible, is watching them as new dads.
ok, so i am not just watching, i am, as the jews say (in yiddish), is kveling [say: K (as in: c'mon!) K-vel (like "bell")-ing], which basically means (b/c there’s no dictionary translation for yiddish words b/c us jews take so darn long to explain everything) bubbling over with emotion–like…bursting at the seams. they are already the best dads to these little boys (grant & evan). and what’s even cuter is that they’re both really big guys and seeing them hold these little babies and coo all over them is like…….well, i kvel. and then i get a little verklempt. then i plotz. and then i need a nosh. (when don’t i need a nosh?)
ok, WAIT. stop. i have referenced too many funny ethnic things in this post to go on any further b/c 1) i’m laughing too hard and 2) you need to know what i’m talking about if you don’t know already b/c it’s too funny for you not to know.
the title of this post is one of my favorite lines from “my big fat greek wedding” (one of my all-time favorite movies), which is said more along the lines of:
”it’za your’a LUCKY DAY to be a-bapTIZED in the GREEK [tongue roll] ORTHODOX CHURCH.”
the dad (Gus) said this to the fiancee (Ian) in the movie–b/c he had to be baptized as greek orthodox before he married his daughter (Toula). holly had to whisper “don’t say that to anyone today, ok???” to me at least three times yesterday at the church and then again at lunch afterwards (you can’t take me anywhere. really, you can’t), esp. since a grown man was being baptized (JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIE!) at the same time (simon’s soon-to-be brother-in-law; it was a two’fer yesterday. total baptism two’fer) as evan.
i wound up breaking down and telling evan it was his a-lucky day to be a-bapitzed in the greek orthodox church at the restaurant after lunch. i was high on greek pastries. luckily he’s three months old and didn’t get it. ha.
in honor of evan and yesterday’s festivities and this blog post and new babies and ethnic ppl in general, i am posting one of my favorite scenes from the movie. (YES. IT WAS MY TWIN. you know the one! ha.)
i am also posting a classic clip of coffee talk with linda richman, she of verklempt. (this is the one with *madonna* and roseanne!!! and BARBARA. like BUTTAH! like two sticks’a buttah!)
simos/lena! love you guys! LOVE EVAN. greg/susan: love YOU guys! LOVE GRANT! love that you guys are dads!!!
love the greeks! love the jews! (WHY ARE WE SO SIMILAR? WHY DO WE TALK SO LOUD?!!)
turn up your volume & prepare to laugh. these will make your day.
(ok, i just watched both of those again and i have tears, i’m laughing so hard. tears. omg i love it.)
and i feel just terrible about it. there’s so much i want to tell all of you. and yet: i have no time. or have a headache (the transition to springtime is esp. hard for whatever reason, prob. the friggin barometric pressure). or am working on my book proposal (and trying to find an agent), which is proving to be a much bigger endeavor than i realized. (also there is Other Stuff that you won’t find out about until the book is published)
also: passover is kicking my a** this year!!! it’s not so much that i want bread, it’s just that it’s…inconvenient. logistically. trust me, it’s not that i don’t appreciate the exodus from egypt and all, i just want to buy lunch (or just pop something in the microwave) b/c i suck at bringing it/making it. i mean, how much tuna/egg salad and matzah can one really eat? i’m even beginning to tire of the chocolate-covered raspberry jelly rings. last week i twittered that i actually wanted to marry one. (that or a choc-covered passover marshmallow. or both.) now that’s saying something.
and…one last thing: major blog shoutout at yonat ‘n jason for hosting the BSE (best. seder. ever!) thursday night. HOLLA! srsly. you guys rule. and the fact that your son not only dressed up as pharaoh but did such a good job singing all the awesome passover kids songs (awww i am smiling just thinking about it) made for a casual evening. serendipitously, i sat directly in front of the delicious brisket. also od’ed on yonat’s insanely good homemade choc-chip mandel bread (how do i describe mandel bread? hmm…oh i know. kosher-for-passover biscotti.) this made for a happy jessica. thanks again, guys! mmmmmwah!
holly and i watched our wedding video for the first time last night. i’m not one that likes to even look at photos of herself, much less moving images. so let’s just say i wasn’t one of those recent brides who was bubbling over with excitement at the mere *thought* of watching her wedding video.
after viewing it in its entirety, i must say the following:
1. yes, the camera really does add 20. i’m not kidding. this must be why tv personalities are so skinny in real life. b/c if you’re, say, a normal, average-type weight (which i consider myself to be) you will no doubt look like a blimp on the tube.
2. boy i really looked like i was gonna throw up under the chuppah! (that’s the jewish marriage canopy; the couple stands under it during the marriage ceremony) also, my eyes were moving around a lot! i looked a little weird. but it could have been worse: i could have barfed. or fainted. which i didn’t. and for that i give myself three snaps in a z formation.
3. holly and i kept talking to each other during ceremonial things. what were we talking about?! ya got me. (tho, if memory serves me right, we were just trying to keep each other from aforementioned barfing and fainting.)
4. clearly i blanked out. from nerves, i suspect. b/c doggone it! all that stuff the rabbi was saying? yeah, totally forgot what she said. don’t even think i heard it in the first place. nice ceremony, tho!! glad i finally got to hear it!
5. we have good-looking friends!! haha! no, i knew that already. but all you guys, if you’re reading, you looked fabulous. really and truly.
6. for some reason, i didn’t realize the sheer mass of ppl dancing the horah with us and around us (that’s how us jews celebrate–we dance around and around in circles til we’re dizzy. then newlyweds are hoisted up on chairs and bounced around in the air by drunk ppl! i must say, i surprised myself by how much i enjoyed this!) holly and i were in the middle of the circle. then my mom and i linked arms and danced. and it’s funny, i mean, i knew there were ppl around us, but i was so focused on holly, then my mom, that i didn’t notice. our cameraman (our friend peter! hi pete!) must’ve stood up on a chair and he got this spectacular aerial view. and i was awestruck by all the friends circling around us. i mean, it was unbelievable. so much love, so much support. all these bodies and smiles swirling around and around us…finally seeing that on video was worth every wince of actually seeing myself on camera. it really was. thank you, wonderful friends, for surrounding us with so much love.
on saturday afternoon we got a phone call. holly picked up, and judging by her side of the conversation, it sounded like a survey. i was surprised when a) she didn’t hang up and even more when b) she handed me the phone.
“here,” she said with a shrug. “they want to talk to the second-oldest person in the household.”
intrigued, i got on the phone. turns out it was a maryland department of health & mental hygiene survey (i’ve always wondered about the term “mental hygeine,” (iJs) but anyway) about smoking and tobacco use. so i’m like, ok, this sounds totally legit and as a journalist, i’m down with helping out with statistical info. the survey lasted a while. maybe 10 or 15 minutes. at the end, she asked about my marital status. there were the usual choices, and i was like, in my most polite voice (yes, i can be polite) b/c this nice survey lady has nothing to do with the laws in maryland,
“well, i’m married. i mean, i just had a wedding a month ago. but in the eyes of the state, i’m not married. so yeah, i guess you’ll have to put me down as ’single.’”
she was like, “oh.”
she put me down as unmarried but living w/someone or something.
honestly, it kinda stung. no, it definitely stung. it was a slap in the face from this state that i live in and that i bleed taxes to. like i said, i wasn’t mad at the nice survey lady, i was just irritated. that after a $XX-thousand-dollar wedding with a rabbi and 150 guests and a handmade wedding dress that i literally bled for (hey, those pins are sharp! ok, i’m being dramatic, but still) and family drama and wonderful best people (i.e. wedding attendents), i’m still considered “single” in the eyes of the state.
it didn’t get me down. i mean, my feathers were ruffled for a couple minutes but i got over it quickly. it just really irks me that i can’t get holly on my health insurance while she’s looking for a new job and we have to hire a lawyer to draw up power of attorney paperwork, etc. b/c G-d forbid anything happens to either one of us, we have no legal rights: can’t visit each other in the hospital, can’t make decisions for each other–nothing.
a couple weeks after the wedding, i joked to holly that we were “unlawfully wedded” and, truly, we are. i’m one of those ppl who jokes around about stuff to feel better, and joking around about our legal “marital status” makes it sting a little less, but it still sucks.
sorry to get all debbie downer on ya on a monday morning. other than that, we had a fabulous weekend.
friday night, we hung out w/some of our favorite boys (including two of my best ppl and closest friends andrew and john) for justin’s photography opening at tangysweet (GREAT YOGURT OMG). saturday night we went to prob. one of the best holiday parties *ever* at this venue called the elm–which is actually someone’s *house*–in baltimore’s hampden neighborhood. august and julie made this kickass winter wonderland backdrop for photos and we were all taking these funny prom-like pics in front of it. of course, the later it got, the sillier the pictures got. (see below!)
yesterday we bought all this fresh *pizza dough* at our fav little italian deli/grocery (more on that another day; omg. best. italian. place. ever.), went to the mawl to get a pizza stone with one of our wedding giftcards and holly proceeded to make some of the best pizza (w/homemade sauce, YES i married a fabulous cook) i’ve ever sunk my teeth into. this was all for our little ravens (baltimore) vs. steelers (pittsburgh, PEE-AY) get together last night (i will not publicly trash talk but let’s just say we were happy w/the outcome). in between all of that, my bookclub was treated to complimentary tix (thanks, renee!) to see “caroline or change” at baltimore’s centerstage, which was awesome. we took an informal survey and it turns out that, yup, we all cried. hey, us bmore bookclubbers may get loud sometimes (ok, all the time) but we’re big ol softies inside…
to make you feel popular? i’ve also been known to say that that coming out on facebook is the best thing ever. well add facebook weddings to the list! b/c omg. now that the dust has settled i’m reflecting on all the wonderful things ppl said, all the wonderful, forever-and-ever-and-evers we got on m’doggone wall, even from ppl from way back when, folks who i haven’t seen or talked to in years and years, from colleagues, from ppl far and wide, it’s just amazing. (to all of you! thankyoutthankyouthankyou!) i swear, technology can sometimes be a royal pain in the ass. but honestly? sometimes it’s downright heartwarming.
and what the HELL am i doing up now anyway?? it’s almost 1:30 am and i need my bride-to-be beauty rest! plus i’m too *old* for this, esp. on a ’school night’! haha.
it suddenly occurred to me all the mischief i’m going to get into w/my peeps when they arrive. (oh and they’re arrivin’ all right: all w/in ten mins. of each other tonight at BWI. welcome to baltimore, girls!!!!) and a certain someonehas promised me an early-morning breakfast satuday at our place, just like old times–when we called the district home, back when we earned hourly wages and dreamed of the things we’re doing right now, assuring each other that yes, our ships would come in, “laden with jewels,” we’d say. oh the ship’s a-comin in, bebe. i’m gonna be jumpin on yr bed, nicolina, early saturday morning so you’d better be READY to go out and get caffeinated! [no jetlag! no GBS (grumpybear syndrome)!] we gots some big days ahead of us! plus we’re gonna git our NAILS DID! yeeeeeehaw, girls!! i can’t wait to see your beautiful faces!!!
b/c one of my dear friends (whom i met in hebrew high school. in 1991. in jersey. when my hair was extremely large and i think i still wore keds) must’ve read it and decided i was out of my mind and purchased two massages, one for me and one for holly, for this weekend here in baltimore. and i love her for it. thank you thank you thank you, jbgreenfish! you have truly fulfilled your mitzvah quota (that’s what us jews call a ‘good deed’) for the day you srsly read both our minds. my neck. and shoulders. and arms and legs thank you.
a while back, but yesterday, yesterday she met holly.
and omg, it was just about the cutest darn thing i’ve ever seen. i mean, those puppies rolling around in fluffy toilet paper (you know those commercials and you know you love them so don’t even) on teevee are pretty darn cute. but this might come in as a close second or even a tie.
after we voted (i had the day off), we went all over baltimore running errands (stopping for kosher chinese, ‘natch). and since we had to get some fancy shoes spruced up, i decided we would take them to henry–i think his name is henry?–who shares space with my belarus(ian?) dressmaker. his shop is decidedly old school and word on the street (the street being my office, of course) that he’s the best guy round these parts when it comes to fixing pointy women’s shoes. so i was like, “oooh i’m gonna introduce you to my dressmaker!”
so we walked thru the shoemakers and peeked around into her tiny shop and i was like helllooooo and she was like “jesseeeka!” with her usual big smile, oh, she just has the biggest and warmest smile. and i was like, “i have someone here i want you to meet!” and so in pops holly ’round her door. “this is holly!” i say. and she was like “oooooooh!!! holly!” and she gave her the biggest, warmest hug. it was so friggin cute i coulda burst. we all chatted [holly thanking her for being so kind to me b/c, as she so eloquently put it, i can be "difficult." (difficult? me? never!)] and smiled a lot and a few minutes later, when we were getting ready to leave, she gave holly another hug and then hugged me and said, “ahhh, i love you, jesseeka!” and i was like “aww i love you!” and trust me, i do. i really do.
so tonight i’ll be packin’ up and heading down for my very last fitting, the one when we make sure everything’s perfect. i have all my accessories to try on with it, including my fabulous shoes [thanks, cousin jen!! (note: not really my cousin, but it sure does feel like it, doesn't it?? we're like jewish summercamp bunkmates from a past life. it's unbelievable!) love ya!!!]. and now i can picture what my hair and make-up will look like. i’ve lost about all the weight i can at this point (healthfully, of course; a combination of weight watchers and the abs diet for women), and here’s hoping all those free weights have done my arms good b/c heaven knows i’ve tried.
tomorrow’s our very last appt. w/our rabbi, where we’ll actually practice circling around each other (an ancient jewish wedding ceremony custom signifying our devotion to one another). we’re awaiting our ketubah’s (marriage contract; another ancient jewish practice–we’re having it designed by an artist friend) arrival. my stomach’s full of butterflies. i’m a nervous wreck. my eye twitch has come back, full-force. but, like i said the other day, i’m actually excited vs. just being stressed. to all my friends reading this: i can’t wait to see you. i can’t wait to give you all big hugs, and have you all in one place. pls be patient with me (as if you’d all be any other way!) b/c i’m sure i’ll have my head only half-on. and i’ll probably make at least one of you go for emergency smoothie runs b/c my blood sugar will no doubt be dropping throughout friday and saturday (and nonono, as holly will tell you: we don’t want that). and i’m sure i’ll be crying a lot. like, a lot. b/c i’m just going to be so happy. pls know that having you there will mean the world to me! even if i can’t get the words out, i’m just telling you now. you all mean the world to me.
i didn’t anticipate crying the way i did this weekend. all weekend. at the indian restaurant when we first got into rochester (and upon hearing some wonderful, wonderful news). in the lobby the next morning, as nicolina (bff/MOH) and i sipped overpriced coffee on puffy couches. in the driveway of the happy couple’s home as Mrs. S (formerly Ms. JG, aka hottie social worker) and n. put their sweet arms around me, and kept reassuring me that yes, everything’s going to be ok, the wedding will be amazing and you will look spectacular and yes, you’re normal and no, don’t feel bad you’re crying. then again in the restaurant as we gathered for a post-wedding breakfast and said farewell (til november). and again (this time really badly) about a half-hour later on nicole’s shoulder at the rochester airport before she headed back to her beautiful city by the bay…
to be honest, two of those instances (indian restaurant and hotel lobby) i managed to keep the tears in–but just barely. and i’m not even mentioning all the times over the weekend i teared up privately w/holly. and now, as i write this, i’m crying again. these days, i seem to be a bottomless well of emotions. literally. i’ve never felt this way before. it’s almost like my feelings have formed this tight ball deep in my chest– somewhere between my heart and my throat–and it’s constantly unravelling and winding back up again.
it’s so hard to explain exactly why i’m crying. and when i try to start explaining–or even start thinking about it–i get emotional all over again. but after seeing some of my very best friends this weekend, i think it boils down to the following:
i love my friends. i love them more than ever. i loved them before but i love them more and more every single day. and when i think about their participation in this wedding, i swear, i just start losing it. see, the great majority of these friends i met in college. and i spent a lot of college joking around and having fun and doing crazy things to my hair. but, (like a lot of other ppl, i imagine) i also spent a lot of time in college holding things in, too afraid to let the tough jersey-girl guard down. nearly a decade later and seven+ yrs into a relationship, the tough-girl act is long gone. sure, i still do my share of trash talkin, still wear lots of black and yeeees, still rock the spiky belts pretty much every day. but anyone who knows me knows that i just might be one of the most sensitive ppl in the universe. some days i honestly feel like an open wound. like, i can barely even watch tv news. and i’m so used to showing holly that side of me, of not holding anything back, that–as odd as it sounds–showing it to my oldest friends–the ones who knew me way back when–is tough for me. but i finally let ‘er rip this weekend. and it felt good. so, as we reach the official two-month mark til our wedding (today; gulp), i just want to say to my friends: thank you. i love you. and thank you for loving me. looking into your eyes (but mostly looking down, i suppose, considering all the tears and nose-blowing) in simos’ driveway, under the gray skies of rochester, receiving your hugs on his stoop, was more than i could have ever asked for. i’ll see you girls soon. xxo.
seeing how i’m perpetually 15, i’ve been obsessed w/text messaging (txt msging) as of late. this has everything to do w/nicolina and now also kate (the hott mapmaker). together, we’ve come up with some new txt msg acronyms.
to start things off, here are our popular favs, which many of you are probably familiar with:
-idk[i don't know; fun to say outloud fast! make you sure you really pronounce the "dee," a la this cingular commercial(of "idk, my bff jill" fame. don't forget the other version, w/granmaw txting her bff rose. omG we loves. she also says "myob" (mind your own business; she's so sassy! we loves.)] which brings us to, of course…
-omg (oh my gosh. i like to write this omG, as to emphasize the GOSH. i use “gosh” b/c i’m jewish and don’t like to throw around the whole lord’s-name-in-vain thing. i know, i’m weirdly old-school.)
-wtf [what the @#$!; this is very helpful (and oddly satisfying) to write in irritating situations.]
now for the new ones:
-ijs! (i’m just saying! helps to capitalize the J here. as in: i’m just saying. veeery teenage. loves.)
-wai, cl?! [what am i, chopped liver?!; if you're from jersey or nyc, you might be especially fond of this one. very jewish. ppl in my family used to actually say this. (roughly translated: "WHAT? i'm not important enough?!!") props to the mapmaker for that one.]
-witym (word it to your momma!)
-and the newest, longest one, via an earlier im fb chat (instant msg facebook chat) w/kate: ydkwyjgyi (you don’t what you just got yourself into) yes, it’s long, i know. but friggin a, it’s so funny.
if you’ve got any favs, bring ‘em!
here’s to the long weekend! omg ise! (i’m so excited!)
you srsly read both our minds. my neck. and shoulders. and arms and legs thank you.
